I’m in a crazy place right now. I’ve been struggling with so many things on my plate.
At work.
At home.
With my kids.
With my husband.
With my social life.
And, certainly can’t forget with my spiritual life.
I’m in a tizzy everywhere, it seems.
It’s all I can do to keep my head above water at work, as my job has become the Multi-Task Master Supreme. Then, I get home, and it doesn’t end there. I have to remember the things I need to pick up at the grocery store. I have to remember to bring diapers/wipes to daycare. I have to remember to turn in all my little green stickers to the grocery store to claim my mini-appliance that I’ve earned! (Never mind the fact that I already own every type of appliance in the brochure!) I have to remember to pay our bills on time. I have to (and absolutely want to) prioritize ample time to love on my babies…and my husband, while also keeping the house in order, cooking dinner, cleaning the kitchen, finishing the laundry, and maybe getting in an occasional workout. Lord knows, the list never gets caught up. And, I’ve got an easy life compared to many people I know!
And, yet, it’s all relative to our own little world-views.
Do you ever get into one of those ruts, where you feel like your wheels are spinning, but you are headed nowhere fast? It’s the same mundane routine … every. single. day … day-in, and day-out, and for what? To start it all over again tomorrow? That’s where I’ve been lately.
And, yet, I feel this call to something greater. Something more significant. But, I can’t figure out what it is. And, worse still, I can’t figure out when and where I can possibly fit that “something greater” into my life, and if it does fit, then how in the world am I going to have the energy to complete it??!
And, then, amidst all the worry and discord, I realize (by God’s good grace) where my error in thinking is: How “in the world?”
“For it is not by might, nor by power, but by My Spirit, says the Lord.”
(Zechariah 4:6)
I think for the first time that I can ever remember, I feel an underlying genuine peace, in the midst of the trial, in the deep-seeded truth that my life is in God’s hands. I think it is natural for everyone, at some point, to crave an escape from the struggles of this life. But, for now, I believe that God’s plot line is so much better than any I can come up with on my own. The ending of the “Story of Hannah” is all worked out. All I need to do is abide in the Lord.
Easier said than done, I’ll admit.
But, here’s what I do know:
God knows the answer to my puzzle! While I feel like my pieces are all haphazardly strewn about in the air, God knows exactly where they’re going to land. And, that picture is going to be a FABULOUS display of His mighty work someday!
God is writing my melody line! When all I hear is dissonance, God is preparing my resolution to consonance – A mighty crescendo that resolves to a chord, like no other, with the purest of quality of tones!
God is building my character, with depth and intention! While I feel like I want an immediate “remedy,” God knows that relieving the symptoms doesn’t cure my disease. He sees my circumstances, and He knows if he leaves me in the fire just a little longer, I will be refined as silver, reflecting His face.
See, He knows exactly where I am (and where you are). I think that when sin came into the world, we were all destined to decide we know more than God, and we sometimes need Him to remind us that the Abundant Life comes when we “lean not on our own understanding, but in all our ways acknowledge him, and He will direct our paths!” (Proverbs 3:5-6)
So, even though I’m feeling a little overwhelmed lately, I truly find rest in the assurance of knowing that God’s got it all worked out. He’s got a plan for my life. He’s doing a work in my world. And, He IS gonna see me through to the other side.
Awesome!