Let’s face it. Your needs aren’t as important as mine. Oh, sure, you think they are. But they’re not. So, stop trying to convince yourself and the entire world via your social media rants and tirades that they are. I literally don’t care. All you’re doing is triggering me and thus shutting me down. I’ve already snoozed you once for 30 days, and I’ll probably unfollow you when you reappear in my thread, carrying on with your same disagreeable shenanigans.

Oh but wait. Is that your goal? To stir up dissention, shut people down, and generate animosity? Or perhaps its more innocuous than that. Maybe you just want to speak your mind and seek validation from those who share your beliefs? If so, carry on. It’s working. You do you, boo.

But if… And that’s a BIG IF that demands deep honest, internal reflection –

IF your goal, deep down, is to be heard, generate positive change, and persuade others to understand your perspective, then perhaps explore another strategy. I promise the one you’re using isn’t accomplishing your goal.

See, whether we want to admit it or not, we – as a societal whole – are currently constructing our own unique mental quadrant charts that we’re filing people…

– no not people – because we lost sight of the underlying, unifying thread of humanity that connects us all a lonnnnng time ago –

Occupations.

…that we’re filing occupations into, based on our very own, very unique, verrrrrrry narrow personal perspectives. I imagine the chart looks something like this:

If you looked at this chart and instantly decided where you belong vs. where society has filed you (read: your occupation) on this chart, then congratulations. You’re human. AND, I wrote this blog post for you. But, are you up for the challenge? Because, I think it’s a game changer, and unfortunately, I don’t think many people are selfless enough to consider it. I hope they prove me wrong.

Instead of asking yourself what quadrant you belong in, and taking center stage as the guest of honor in your own victim-mindset (that’s right — I called it a victim mindset. It stings. I know because I’ve had a victim mindset before and it’s a reallllllly hard thing to accept about yourself, but recognition is the first step to recovery) pity party, worrying about what quadrant society is cramming you into without your permission, it’s time to ask yourself, “But, what quadrant am I mentally filing other occupations into?”

Because trust me. You ARE. Whether you realize it or not. Whether you want to admit it or not.

We’ve all heard the terms Essential vs. Non-Essential, so that descriptor is pretty clear, whether I agree with the choice of word, or not. But what about importance? How important is someone’s else’s physical health, mental/emotional health, financial stability, etcetera, in the midst of this crisis? Swap out the Essential/Non-Essential piece for an alternative descriptor, and this mental quadrant chart applies to an even wider spectrum of topics – from personal opinions to politics. But for now, let’s consider it in the context of the current pandemic crisis. In the face of uncertainty, we fight to protect ourselves but completely lose sight of the beat-down others are facing. We hurl accusations that don’t even make sense, at best devaluing others – who are actually (just like you) desperately struggling for their own safety and security needs (that very plausibly look a whole lot scarier than anything you could possibly fathom), and at worst categorizing them, somehow, as our foes who are intentionally hell-bent on using and abusing us or neglecting our needs for their own personal gain.

Stop. It.

Someone has to decide, “This stops with me.”

We could all use a refresher on Habit 5 in Stephen Covey’s 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. “Seek first to understand, and then be understood.”

Could you imagine if Superman went about saving the world, only to gripe and moan about how hard it was to fly faster than a speeding bullet, and how disappointed he was that people expected him to leap tall buildings in a single bound? There are a lot of heroes out there right now. In a wide array of industries. You’re most likely one of them. In fact, just assume you are! Own it. It’s time to find a friggin’ phone booth, put on your danged cape, remember how strong you are, get out there, and effing slay!

*If you are mad at me for writing this or feel defensive, misunderstood, or compelled to blame someone, then you should probably (no – definitely) pause and reflect about where that’s coming from.*